In solitude and silence...

It is 3.35 am and I am all alone in my hostel room blogging.I look out of my window to see the dark shadowlines of the mangalorian landscape merging into the darkness of the sky and somehow I am reminded of my home Kolkata though far from my window but probably closer to me than ever before through my mind's eye.Kolkata sharing the same night sky,having a similar landscape resembling this similar view.It has been more than a month here and as the days go by I feel nostalgic.I miss the hustle and bustle of my busy college days' mornings,those familiar faces brightening my mornings each day,those ever-greeting classrooms,the comfort of my table and chair before semester nights,the feel of the evening wind rustling through the leaves around lake view road,the sounds of cutlery and laughter creating some enchanting din @ Grub Club.I miss the familiar sight of Ma in the prayer room, I miss the way I used to watch Didibhai sleeping,I miss the sight of Bapi returning from bazaar carrying bags full of eatables and essentials.I miss the feel of walking beside someone for hours on end blissfully unaware of the world around chatting and laughing over the silliest p.j.s.I carry them all with me now, memories like sugar candies which leave behind a sweet taste and yet instills a craving for more sweetness, an unrequited urge to run back to those very feelings, sights and sounds.But alas some things once done cannot be undone like some decisions taken carve some entirely different routes.So here am I walking on such a route that I consciously chose which was all smooth and straight awhile ago but has somehow become thorny and winding now making me trip as I go now.But all the times I trip and fall I always have this feeling that I am not falling in vain,when the pain gets irrestible and when my vision blurs even in the darkest of times I realize that this is just His way of nudging me out of my cocoon and this is my way of growing up.Hope this metamorphosis gives me beautiful wings one day till then keeping my fingers crossed and when the pain seems intolerable taking some pain killers in the name of "blogging". Adieu.