Testimonial of a lost soul

She was chained . Amidst the belging and raging cold , dark waves that greedily rushed towards the broken stone walls . Walls of the dilapidated stone tower that reeked of moss and age , where she lay. Bound by her misery , her dismay , her agony. Chains of despair weighing down on her . Stronger than a thousand tons of iron, while droplets of cold insults lashed upon her face through the waves shaming her , pulling her down into the vortex of hopelessness . There she lay curled and tied by no iron chains or ropes of tough fibre . On the windowless , stairless, lonely tower … grovelling in the dust of her broken, dismantled thoughts … through ageless nights of no moon. A thousand tears had dried on her cheeks … yet some rolled down anew , or perhaps they were the salt waters that hit her face , perhaps both, one cannot surely tell . For the light had abandoned her . Her eyes , her soul . The sound of her voice was lost , the roaring waters had silenced them . Her eyes were tired but in longing. Longing to go back to the small footsteps that ran along the corridor on sleepy summer Sunday afternoons , the giggling voice that used to tease her sister , the small hands that used to frantically knead the playdough into shapes of everyday objects , the eyes that lit up when mom made ice cream . The voice that sang Christmas carols , the spirit that won school races , the enthusiasm that used to be curious about new languages … pieces of a vibrant soul sparkling through these innocent images . But like a mirror cracking into a million pieces , the waters fumed and thousand little waves of allegations rushed at her pointing their fingers , choking that distant innocent smile . She was the dark one … guilty. She was the murderer …traitor to the thousand splendid suns that once shone through her. The right , the wrong , the happiness , the pleasure , the love , the lust , the contentment … all lay in the frothy soup below her … engulfing her in a vortex of eternal confusion. She seeked respite . She awaited peace. She longed for home. She sighed . Each sigh a ripping plea for peace. Her heart was plagued … with long aching memories of unfulfilled dreams , with cursed passions , with forbidden confusions . She hoped for death … she longed for peace. The clouds above thickened , as Time watched upon her from a distance. Glimpses of happy contented faces , of birthdays , of warm kisses , of holding hands , of the vibrant school fare-well dress, flashed across her eye. Glimpses of long office corridors , familiar everyday faces , buzzing coffee machines, the happiness to see a piece of code work , the contentment at solving a long standing issue , the tenth standard maths test and a 9.54 in the eighth semester in College. Picture of a little three year old running to show her his new toy car , the steaming sizzle of a barbecue platter dinned by two voices in love , sweet classical melodies conjured by long magic fingers . Shadows of despair in the form of red vermillion smeared across her forehead , blinding flashlights , chattering voices and the tinge of conch shell bangles clinging on to strong arms ripping at her maggot-eaten heart , the flash of a white skirt and brown corduroy pants holding hands against the blue walls of Santorini and at the central bazaar at Turkey, mocking at her despair . And somewhere beyond the wailing of an unborn child , pushing through his mothers’ body , struggling to be let into the world. The raging thundercloud shaking her back to reality , to the tower , to the waves. A silent tear and a silent prayer whispering through her diseased soul . Time – the silent spectator watching from a distance , calculating , weighing the equation , with cold eyes fixed on the rising storm above her. Cold rain soaking up her parched lips , running against her pale shrivelled skin … hitting her like thousand needles , making her wake into reality. The gathering grey above slowly thickening and fuming at her , calling out her name after eternity . And… Time whispering in the distance – ‘It is time.’ Her looking up at the storming cloud to answer its call , a blinding flash of white upon her eyes … ripping open a gateway to pure golden meadows of sunflower , bright butterflies sparkling in the sunshine , birds chirping through thick green canopies , a thousand laughter of peace echoing through the fields and finally that old beautiful peaceful innocent smile returning to her still face, for she knows – its her home coming !